Latino Heretics - Excerpt

Being mixed isn't as elusive as it seems. I can trace my people with my eyes closed - to Cuba, Russia, Poland. I can show you the cunt I was born with and the dick I strap on when I wanna fuck. I can point out my white skin and blond hair, trill my rrr's, or cook you a mean black beans and rice - I'll show you my list of the men I slept with before, the women I sleep with now, and tell you my fantasies of cock and rape and power that have been here all along. I can show you pictures of my clothes from little rich girl fairy princess to thirteen-year-old daughter of a single parent, working before and after school to help make ends meet. Need I mention That I'm only five foot one, weigh 117 pounds, am 23 years old? Need I mention that being mixed has both the cacophony and harmony of specific musics, smells, foods, people? That hetero and queer do not create a middle ground of bisexual, nor do Cuban and Jewish cancel each other out to become mixed heritage. It really isn't that elusive at all, this need to create something safe, and genuine, and even joyful from the "No"s, the: You can't"s, and the cries of "Traitor!" Being mixed is about taking that no, and making something out of it, that No that says if I am Jewish I can't possibly be Latina, if I get down with the boys, I can't be queer, and since my Mom owns three houses now, I can't have possibly been working since I was eleven. It's about taking that No, and nibbling at it like the shell of a nut, holding the No all hard and stubborn in my hand and picking at it until it falls apart to deliver the rich brown edible stuff inside. It's about building a sweet little cottage on the fence that separates one identity from the other, it's about sketching together a whole from many mismatched halves, and creating a multiplicitous identity as a beautiful garment from what others call rags, and making a place to lay my head in the landmine spiked battleground of cultural difference. Being mixed isn't as elusive as it seems. Being mixed is being fierce. Being mixed is being brave. Being mixed is making your fucking home on the split that people want you to run from. Being mixed is making do. Being mixed is making something lovable out of other people's leftovers.